So to me, life is like watching the sky. The sky is always blue. Sometimes it is darkened, sometimes it is clouded, sometimes it comes with it's own soundtrack and lighting showcase. BUT it is always blue. Rain stops, clouds pass, thunder quietens, lighting fades. The sky remains the same behind whatever God may place in front of it. Realising this was a big step for me in my healing process. I will at some point go into more depth about what I am still asking healing for. I have made big steps towards it, but I have realised we don't all get the lucky instant healing we so often think about when we think 'bible stories'. Miracles sometimes are best when they have a journey that teaches you 1,000 things whilst taking you to the miracle, so that you are well versed in how to handle the miracle blessed upon you. Anyways... I was getting sidetracked. Life isn't always peachy, I'm trying my best to stay away from clichés... If we all passed through life f...
It's 00:57AM. 10 minutes ago I was in the midst of a bad panic attack. I had just sent a goodnight message to my fiancé. I laid my head upon my pillow, the room dark, then BAM! Screaming, heart palpitating, chest tight, hyperventilating... PANIC. Something I'm used to...never gets any easier. But what is the first thing I do once my breath eases and my heart slows gently? I grab my laptop and youtube 'calming music' (which I've never done after a panic attack), and I go straight to blogger and write... The truth is my attacks come from fear. There I admitted it... They all root in fear, they're breathed from it, birthed from it, they strengthen from it. Fear conquers the attack and the attack conquers the victim. Oh how I wish I had a stop button, the second it started, that I could push and it magically disappear. I can't tell you the amount of prayers that have been spoken, the pairs of lips that have been used. The amount of letters God...